In Christopher Moore‘s hilarious book, ‘A Dirty Job‘, his main character is a ‘beta male’. Moore describes a beta male as the guy that wasn’t all that popular in high school that, when something does go his way, he feels like it will be snatched away at any moment. The beta male’s imagination is constantly shifting to the worst case scenario.

I’m pretty sure that I am a beta male, and I have a pretty active imagination.

That’s why, on Wednesday, when I posted the ‘Super Dad and His Amazing Family’ edition of Wordless Wednesday, I took it pretty hard when Weasel Momma called me to the mat about a couple of pictures of my five week old son sleeping. In one, he is sleeping next to his three year old sister, in another, he is on his side, nestled in a blanket. Both pictures are abso-friggin-lutely adorable.

I think Weasel Momma agreed, but she utilized the comments on my blog and twitter to tell me of the dangers of allowing a baby to sleep on an adult bed with other kids. She reminded me that the best place for a baby to sleep is in a crib without bumpers or blankets or soft toys.

Of course, I knew that. I read the magazines at the doctor’s office. I do searches on WebMD. I almost fired back ‘He’s in the crib MOST of the time! Do you think I’m stupid?’ I wanted to ask what business it was of hers. But then I stopped and thought. I’m the one that puts my life out on my blog for the world to see. So far I’ve been fortunate enough to find kindred spirits that give me lots of encouragement and kind words.

Weasel Momma is one of those kind folks. The reason she cares, the reason she stuck her nose in at all, is that she is a SIDS mom. At this realization, my view began to shift. What would I do in that situation? I could only imagine. And as I mentioned before, my imagination gets pretty vivid…

Weasel Momma, I commend you. It takes courage to put these experiences out there. It takes courage to stand up and say something when you see that something’s not right. I thank you for your advice and look forward to more in the future. I also would like to apologize for any trauma I may have caused, inadvertently drudging up those memories…

Tristin, I apologize to you for not making sure that you are 100% safe at all times. Your mom and I would go straight out of our heads if anything were to happen to you.

When my wife breast feeds, she often lays down with him, and if he drifts off to sleep, we leave him there, thinking that because it’s during the day, and we’re being attentive, that it should be okay. Because Calli loves her baby brother, sometimes she wants to snuggle him.

At night, we’ve been kind of putting up with the bassinet, looking at cribs half-heartedly, but not with much sense of urgency.

Yesterday, I ordered a crib. It does not have a drop-side, adding stability and no pinch points! I’m not kidding, this changed my life.

Hoo!

I promised I’d lighten things up, so here’s a couple more snippets:

It occured to me that I did a lot of complaining on this blog in the past. I bitch about my job, my living situation, … but it occured to me that I hardly ever give resolution! Which, of course, goes against what I wanted when I started this blog. I want people to think that I am the perfect father and provider. I want people to weep when they read this blog, because I am so much better than them!  ;)  Alas, I am a beta male, and I have problems just like every one else…

The job is getting better. I have this weekend off, and I start my three days on, three days off schedule on Monday. They promise no more extra days, no more extra long days. I am completely optimistic about this, it will be amazing!

I mentioned it on twitter, but never blogged about my new digs. We were living in a two bedroom apartment and panicked about trying to fit a family of five into it. The week before Tristin was born, we moved into a three bedroom two and a half bath duplex with it’s OWN WASHER AND DRYER and a two car garage. There’s a lot of storage and a fireplace, and it actually feels like someplace I can LIVE!

On the online life front, I’ve started a protected twitter account that I will have more control over. If you would like to add to the conversation and not sell me stuff, (i.e. if you’re from dad-blogs) follow me @JustinMHowe, and I’ll follow back. If you want to show me how amazing it is to shove advertising down people’s throats on twitter and facebook, I’m blocking your ass.

Thanks so much for listening, I’ll be a lot more jovial in the posts ahead!

Yesterday I was selling iPhones at work and striking up conversations with the customers. One couple had a one year old with them. He just kept giving me this huge, toothy grin. At least, it would have been toothy if he had more than four teeth! I just couldn’t stop looking at his giggling little self, so I said, “You look awfully happy! Is this going to be your new toy?”

“Noooooooo.” the father quickly replied.

“It won’t be long.” I said. “Leap Frog makes a baby blackberry.” (They do. Check it out!)

We then had a conversation about the dangers of the internet, and more importantly, how you can become anyone you want to be on the internet.

Now, for the most part I think I do pretty well with just being myself online. I’m pretty much the same boring, run-of-the-mill person I’d be of we met face to face.

But for some reason, I feel the need to show off my online life and how I use different apps to achieve excellent daddy blogger status. Any suggestions on how to streamline this process would be greatly appreciated!

Obviously, I write this blog. When I post a new entry, I head over to ping.fm and announce it, which automatically updates my twitter, facebook, and MySpace to let everyone who cares and some who don’t that I just blogged today.

I also write ‘Kids Play On The Net‘. This is a weekly column about kid-friendly websites for education and entertainment over at dad-blogs.com. I can’t pimp that site enough. It’s truly a great place for dads and moms to hang out. When they post my column, it’s back to ping to let everyone know.

MySpace is dead to me. The only thing I do over there is look every once in a while to see if ping updated it. MySpace is targeted at teens, and as far as I’m concerned, they can have it. I still have a couple of friends over there that haven’t come into the light of facebook, so I still have a profile there. Meh.

Facebook is crazy. Not only have I reunited with long-lost friends there, but I’ve also had conversations with writers and artists and people I admire. These are people I’d just stammer at in public. But on facebook it’s just easier. OK, so maybe I am a little different online.

Twitter. What have I not already said about twitter on this blog? Twitter has truly become an addiction. I check it constantly on my phone. I enjoy ‘live tweeting’ my days off and family activities. I enjoy it so much that I created a daily segment on this blog through twitter tools called ‘Twitter Tittelations’ that gives you my daily tweets in digest form. Daily. Is that annoying? Let me know! I thought it was a great way to post daily without typing an entire post, but I may just be fooling myself.

I also have friendfeed, stumbleupon, technorati, and digg accounts, but I still haven’t devoted enough time to those to figure out how to use them.

That’s it in a nutshell: the tools that this daddy blogger uses. Any more I should get into? What do you use?

As a Daddy Blogger, I’ve gotten frustrated lately that it’s fairly hard to find fellow Daddy Bloggers. Every few months or so I Google ‘Daddy Blogs‘ for something interesting. Today I hit the mother, er, fatherload:

I found dad-blogs.com.

Dad-blogs.com is an online community designed for and by bloggers who happen to be fathers. I really enjoy this site and am proud to be a member of it. I can really see the potential for dad-blogs to become THE central hub for daddy bloggers online. In just a couple of months, they’ve already attracted the likes of Wayne Parker, daddy blogger from about.com, so you know they’re gaining clout!

I’ve enjoyed exploring this site today.  The Comments section says ‘Write a Comment Slacker’. The $100 giveaway that’s going on right now is advertised by saying, ‘Win beer money!’ In other words, the target audience is definitely men! Women are allowed in too because, let’s face it, someone has to keep us in line!

There are plenty of activities to keep you busy such as a forum and groups to join or create if you want to dig in to a topic a little deeper. They just introduced a feature called ‘DB Investigates’, where they ‘take a hard look at a subject matter from all angles in order to spark debate and find solutions to a wide range of topics.’ Up first for the month of March? Well, we are men, so we’re talking about sex. (I’ll take bets right now on whether or not that’s the topic for next month too! )

If you’re a daddy blogger looking for a place to share ideas, or just a daddy looking for advice and a sympathetic ear, dad-blogs.com is the place for you!

So I’ve made moves to balance this new found lust for a digital life with my real one.

First and foremost, I wake up early. I’m not saying this is for everybody, but it works for me. (Kind of ironic, really. I used to be a ‘nightowl’, and now I do my best work in the early morning!) In my blog entry, ‘Balancing Life, Family, and Technology: How Some Authors Do It‘, Dayton Ward addressed how much sleep he got by saying:  

“I sleep more than you might think, but less than I’d like, or which some folks might consider healthy. Between the dayjob, family, and writing, I average between 4-5 hours of sleep a night during the week. On weekends, I sometimes am able to squeeze in another hour or, on very rare occasions, sneak in a nap. It all depends on the schedules my wife and I are keeping on a given weekend.”

I’m not saying I sacrifice sleep because Dayton does, but I had begun that habit before our email interview, and this just sort of reinfoced the notion that I was probably OK with the five hours I generally get. (Without the aid of energy drinks, mind you!) I tend to blog/plot my webcomic during these early hours when the rest of the family is asleep and it’s quiet and I can think.

The second thing I’ve done is tried to make my hobby my family’s hobby! (But not in a bossy way!  ;P ) Turns out Calli enjoys my drawings, so when I’m working on the webcomic, here’s my method:

I do the pencil and ink BY HAND (Calm down, tech nerds, it’ll be alright…), scan it in to my computer, and color it there. (Nerds release the intake of air in an uneasy sigh of relief.) During this process, I also print out a copy of the inks and let Calli color on it while I work on my own coloring. I have to admit, I cheat once in a while and look over her shoulder for ideas…

The point of all this is that a lot of people drive themselves crazy looking for the ever-elusive ‘me’ time. Take a breath and realize what you have right in front of you. Take advantage of those things, and you’re life will feel much fuller.