The reason I remember my answer is due to Calli, my four-year-old-tomorrow. Her eyes shot up, looked deep in to mine and said, “Not ‘yes-and-no’. Just yes. It’s always just yes.”

Since her birth, there has been no shortage of wonderful lessons she has given me, but this one gave me some serious thoughts.

Why do we so often settle for yes-and-no?

• Do you love your job?
• Are you where you want to be in life?
• Does every day end with a sense of fulfillment?

I’m certain I could go on and on. Why shouldn’t we be able to give a definitive yes or no? Why shouldn’t we seek out the yeses?

I related in an earlier post how I feel that I am going through a regeneration. I am changing things about my life and myself that I hope will bring a more fulfilling existence to my family as well as to me. Her statement “Not yes and no!” Echoed in my mind as that’s exactly what I am now trying to accomplish: finding the yeses and avoiding the noes.

And above all else, deciding definitively yes or no and not settling.

This post brought to you by Dad-Blogs' FatherHood Friday. Be sure to swing by for all the other great Dads and Moms who love to share their lives online!

With that, I am pleased to announce that through the generosity of my blog readers, friends, family, and a few impromptu garage sales (not to mention most of my tax return), Kat’s trip to Australia with People to People is now reality! She flies out on the 16th for 17 days in the Land Down Under. I can’t believe that it’s that soon! Incidentally, on the graphic above, I found a font on Artweaver called ‘Australian Sunrise’. What else would I use? Here’s a glance at Kat’s itinerary while she’s down there:

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In the spirit of Fatherhood Friday and Week In Review, here’s what’s happening in the Howefitz world:

At the park yesterday, Calli claimed that I was a strong guy because I ‘pick up small childrens’…

Wednesday was Calli’s first day of Tee-Ball! She learned the ‘alligator’ and how to hold the ball, throw it overhand and catch. And even though practice went in to nap time and somebody got a little cranky, we all had a blast! Here are a couple highlights:

Practicing sccoping up the ball with 'the alligator'.

I could totally do 'the alligator'...

Then Calli got ahold of the camera:

'She's only 3, she's probably not even getting a picture of me. I'll just look crazy to play along...'

'Sissy has the camera. Ready penetrating gaze.'

Yesterday, we went to a park in Dillon, CO that we don’t get to very often. Pics!:

Tristin's working on his 'Superman'...

Attempts at a nearly complete family portrait with small children on a bouncy dock in high winds:

After the park, we went to a bookstore where Tristin saw a Batman book. He started shaking his fists in excitement, and, I swear, whispered an excited ‘Baban!’ It was better than if he had said ‘Daddy!’ At nine months, the fanboy training is paying off…

In other news, (Last, but not least) I bought the domain name for my upcoming webcomic. It will be called ‘Howefitz Sequential’, in honor of my web moniker and the more intellectual way of identifying comics: ‘sequential art’ (the art of telling a story in a sequence of pictures and words). Plus it kind of sounds like one of my favorite movies, ‘LA Confidential’, so I’m pretty proud of myself for coming up with it! Don’t visit the site yet, I’m busy building it and completing at least three weeks worth of material before I launch. I’m shooting for an official launch date of July 5. I’ll keep you posted!

Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Fatherhood Friday!

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Calli: Daddy, can’t you tell me a story? (This is how she asks for everything now. ‘Daddy, can’t you…’ As if she’s tired of asking.)

Me: What kind of story?

Calli: I don’t know…

Me: OK. So. Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Calli.

Calli: Was she a Princess?

Me: Yes, she was a beautiful Princess!

Calli: Did she have a brother named Tristin?

Me: Yes she did! And he was a Prince! He was as handsome as Princess Calli was beautiful.

Calli: Yeah!

And so on. It’s kind of cool, actually, she makes my job easy!

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As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m playing around with trying to create a webcomic based on my family. I posted my first design of Kat as a manga character on DeviantArt last night, but if you missed the tweet, I’m posting it below. I’m taking my time with this, and I want to have three weeks of the comic done before I launch. But I’ll be posting sketches and ideas at DeviantArt and Flickr, and of course, sharing it all through Twitter and Facebook. So feel free to follow, friend, or fan me to see if my excitement will translate to the electronic page!

Speaking of Kat, we’re in serious crunch time for raising money for her Student Ambassadorship to Australia! They need all the money by May 14! We’re having a garage sale this weekend in a last ditch effort. If you would like to contribute, please see the ‘Chip-In’ badge to the right of the blog. Every little bit is appreciated, and we’ll make sure you get a Howe original thank you note from Kat either from the Land Down Under, or as soon as she gets home!

This post brought to you by Dad-Blogs' FatherHood Friday. Be sure to swing by for all the other great Dads and Moms who love to share their lives online!

We just recently found out that Kat needs to finish raising the money for her People to People delegation to Australia by May 14th! If you are able, please make a donation of any comfortable amount by clicking on the Chip-In button to the right of this page. Kat and my wife are working on hand drawn thank you cards that will be sent to you from Australia, time allowing, or when she gets home. If you’ve already donated, you’re already on our mailing list!

A work in progress by my wife...

One of Kat's Thank You cards

In other news…

Calli, the 3 year old, has become increasingly bossy, despite the constant reminders to say thank you. The establishment of who’s boss seems to be constantly on her mind. A few nights ago, as we were getting ready for bed, Calli pointed at me and said, ‘You can’t boss me, Daddy. Mommy can boss me. That’s her job.’

She must have doubted that fact a couple nights later. ‘Mommy, you’re not the boss of me!’ Only to quickly recant, ‘Oh. Wait. You ARE the boss of me!’

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While playing at the park yesterday, Calli found a couple of girls to play with. They were a little bit older, but they quickly worked her in to their play. Their mother and I gave each other the non-committal, slightly weary hello nod customary of adults.

This park has a smaller playground for younger kids, and a larger one for big kids. As the trio of girls crossed from one playground to the other, Calli stopped in front of her playmates’ mother and said, ‘Hi! My name is Calli, and I am your friend!’

The mother smiled warmly and patted Calli on the head. Calli chased after the girls, and they played and giggled together.

As we drove home, I thought about how wonderful that one statement was. ‘Hi! I’m Calli, and I am your friend!’ What is that like? No reason to ask ‘Will you be my friend?’ No confusion about whether the receiving party concurs with this friendship. This was simply a statement of fact. How wonderful that must be to have that much confidence! It was as if she said, ‘I really don’t care how you feel about it. I am your friend.’

How would our lives be better if we went through life like that? It’s an issue I’ve struggled with all my life. I never want to appear conceited or ‘full of myself’, and I’m not that confident to begin with.

Yet you are currently reading ‘The greatest Daddy Blog. Ever.’ and no one has contested that. In fact, as I read through other Daddy Blogs, I see many similar statements. ‘I have the best wife in the world!’ ‘I have the best kids!’ ‘Best family!’

You know what? They’re all absolutely right.

What if we all had that much confidence all the time? Confidence to help someone in need. Confidence to make decisions. Confidence to do something about our current situations?

I bet the world would be a much better place.

So just as the week was a blur for us, please enjoy this whirlwind photo tour of the weeks highlights!

What is Calli sitting on? A stone wall?

Nope! This is a sculpture of a serpent named ‘Squiggles’. Squiggles lives at the Arvada Center of Arts and Humanities in Arvada, Co. Here, Kat helped Calli make it to Squiggles’ head. I’m not sure how big Squiggles is, but he’s HUGE! The Arvada Center is where we went to the People to People presentation. We probably could have spent the entire day here…

Tristin looked thoughtfully over his sisters playing on the giant serpent. That’s Daddy’s little Jedi!

Kat and Calli pose at the tail of the beast.

We went to the Downtown Aquarium in Denver for lunch. Unfortunately, they were having a big Valentine dinner event and couldn’t seat us. But Tristin looked amazed by everything anyway!

We then wound up at the Colorado Mills Mall, where Calli and I got to ride a turbo-charged carousel. This is a huge outlet mall, and Calli and Tristin came out of Gymboree with entirely new wardrobes!

Tuesday, we got to feed Tristin for the first time. Due to a back order issue with the pad we ordered from Fisher Price, we didn’t yet have a high chair to put him in, but that wasn’t going to stop us from getting some carrots in to this kid! I apologize that I’ve worked my way in to these pictures. Just pay attention to the cute kid with the quizzical look on his face, not me. (Like that’s hard to do! )

Gimme that spoon, Daddy! I'll do it!

Calli: Hey, Daddy! Can I help? Tristin: I told you I got it!

That's the face of a baby with a full tummy!

I certainly hope you enjoyed this week in review! I know I’m having fun!

Happy Fatherhood Friday!

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Image via Wikipedia

This Friday before Valentine’s Day, let me just join PJ Mullen in saying ‘I hate Valentine’s Day!‘ That being said, I find myself this Valentine season thinking about how I went from a nerdy kid who hated Valentine’s Day because I couldn’t get (read muster up the courage to get) a girl, to a husband and father with four Valentines that hates being told there’s one particular day to celebrate your love. Although I generally do not enjoy planning the future further out than tomorrow, I find myself looking to the future for my 4 Valentines…

Tristin

It’s easy to envision a bright new world in the sparkling blue eyes of a nearly six-month old baby boy. Has it really been six months? It seems like I was just blogging his birth from the hospital room!

This coming week, Tristin will eat his first solid food, or as solid as baby food can get. The days of sweet-smelling yellow poo will be over, and soon will arrive the stinky poo. I can’t wait.

Although it’s certainly too early to see the interests that my son will have, there is a gleam of curiosity and possible mischievousness that I can’t wait to watch develop. Barely sitting up, this boy is already reaching and grabbing at anything that comes near him. Snatching the glasses off of my face is a favorite triumph, as well as grabbing at whatever food the person that’s holding him is eating. He’ll be a handful, but if I have survived his sister thus far, I think I’ll be alright.

Which brings me to…

Calli

If anyone can be described as a fireball, Calli can. Even while watching TV, this kid is on the move. We very nearly have to tie her down at night to get her to go to bed. (Not literally, please don’t call social services. I know how things posted on the internet can get…)

I have never met a more compassionate child. If one of us is sick or in pain, she is the first one there to offer condolences and see if there’s something she can do to help.

Nothing is more important to her than her family. In fact, as I’m writing this, she’s singing ‘One Big Happy Family!’ from a Winnie the Pooh DVD that she loves. She often reminds us that we are one big happy family.

Kat

Very rarely does the elusive Teenager allow her picture to be taken, so please excuse the reissue of her Halloween pic!

I find that it’s hard to convey what I feel about the Teenager. She’s a teenager, so she drives me crazy with the constant texting, IMing, Facebooking, and anime watching, often (literally!) at the same time.

But then she’ll turn around and say something that blows me away.

It doesn’t take much for us to push each other’s buttons, and my wife constantly tells me not to egg Kat on. But that’s just the relationship we’ve built, and I think it’s rock-solid.

Tomorrow we’re driving down to Denver to learn about the People to People program. They want to send Kat to Australia this summer. Her dream is to work with animals, so their brochure that claims you can ‘cuddle with a koala’ is just too irresistible to not at least go see what they have to say. I’ve heard these things are pretty expensive, but I can’t let an opportunity like this pass her by. Any ideas for fund raising is certainly welcome!

Which brings me to…

Bobbette

My wife and I celebrated five years of wedded bliss this past November, and ten years of being together. Did I mention time flying earlier in this post?

What can I say? I just re-read my Wedding Anniversary post, ‘My So-Called Romantic Life‘, and naturally, it doesn’t begin to encompass what I am truly feeling. As much as I love my kids, and as much as I center my life around them, Bobbette is the one I have made the conscious choice to be with, and she with me. Years from now, when the kids have grown and flown, we’ll have each other.

There is no one in the Universe I would rather have at my side. Quite literally, you would not be reading this blog if not for her. She provides me with daily inspiration and much needed encouragement. She instills me with the sense that I can accomplish anything. When I feebly make a mess of something, she’s there to pick up the pieces.

She’s strong when I’m weak, smart when I’m stupid, fearless when I’m  a coward.

I like to think that I do the same for her, but I am certain that I am getting the better end of this particular deal.

I have to work on Valentine’s Day, so we’ve agreed that, yes, we’ll contribute to the commercialism of the day, but we’ll do it the day after – at 50% off! Luckily, Calli, who is oh-so looking forward to it can’t read a calendar!

I’d like to take one final moment to thank all of you for sticking around and sharing this life with me. I suppose I could have said I have five Valentines, you being the fifth. Without readers, I would have given up on this whole blogging thing long ago. Without the community of friends that we have built, I’d think I was wasting my time.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about me and my family as much as I have enjoyed reading about many of you and yours. Have a great Fatherhood Friday, and a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

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Martin Luther King, Jr. via last.fm

I recently read a wonderful post by Ron Mattocks at Clark Kent’s Lunchbox about what our hopes teach our children about their futures. Using Martin Luther King‘s ‘I Have A Dream’ speech as a catalyst, Ron tells us stories of his father and the effects his father had on his life and parenting style. It’s great. I highly recommend you head over there and read it.

As for me and my dreams, I grew up with a passion for animation, especially stop-motion animation. Using a VHS camcorder, I discovered that the camcorder would back up the tape 2 seconds when paused. So I would record my action figures for 3 seconds, move them, record for 3 seconds, move them… The result was choppy at best, but watchable, and I felt great! I felt like Chuck Jones must have felt when he discovered that Wile E. Coyote has to disappear for 24 frames when he falls off the cliff before you see the puff of dust when he hits. 24 frames achieves maximum hilarity.

In school, I built my own clay figure of Batman, and with a couple of friends, we animated a short film of Batman stopping a blob-like creature from stealing a TV from a cardboard electronics store. It was the only film I’d done that included dialogue! I remember showing it at some kind of open house we had, and a parent asked me when I’d be putting my films on Nickelodeon. I had to wait several hours for the head-swelling to go down in order for me to leave the building.

Unfortunately, I let my own fears get in the way. I wasn’t a good enough artist. I wouldn’t be able to get in to my dream school, or schools, it shifted daily from the Minneapolis College of Art and Design to CalArts. I read stories of animators and cartoonists that sounded like they led terrible lives. Charles Schulz, creator of the ‘Peanuts’ daily comic strip, once said of cartooning, ‘It will destroy you. It will break your heart.’ He also said, ‘You can’t create humor out of happiness.’ So the career I wanted could possibly result in a life that was less desirable. Which way would I go?

That answer was ultimately answered for me when I met a red-haired girl who had a charming little girl of her own. In that relationship, I saw the life that I wanted. I saw more children and more happiness. I resolved that if I was Charlie Brown in the Peanuts strip of life, I was going to kick the damn football while avoiding the kite-eating tree.  Quickly I realized that I wanted the life of my dreams, and not the career.

One line that struck me from Ron’s essay was ‘Walking away from a dream, even for all the best and selfless of reasons, is no less painful as it shrinks in the distance behind you.’ That fit my decision to a ‘T’. Now, more than ever, it seems that Comic Books have taken over the cinema, and animation (at least CGI) is reigning supreme. Could I have seen a piece of that action?

On one hand, I feel the pain Ron describes of not actively pursuing the career of a cartoonist or animator, but on the other hand, I feel like that era of cartooning is vanishing. Everything’s done on the computer now. At 31 years old, I feel like a dinosaur. No one’s doing the animation that I wanted to do. I want to go back to hand-drawn animation, even hand-painted cels! I literally get teary eyed when I watch a film like ‘Pinocchio’ or ‘Fantasia’ and think about how the animators toiled over every bubble that rose up when Monstro crashed to the sea, or every broom that nearly drowns Mickey Mouse. The technique and artistry that was invented at the time was beyond compare.

If the Disney Company can start with a mouse, imagine what your kids can do! image via Wikipedia

Of course, Disney recently released ‘The Princess and the Frog’, and Studio Ghibli‘s ‘Ponyo‘ just saw its’ American release, and those are more traditional. Henry Selick and Aardman Studios are still out there doing stop-motion, but these are all the exceptions, and certainly not the rules.

That’s probably enough animation history for one post. What I’m trying to get at is that I would not trade my life today for anything. I am still in the job I got at 18 to ‘get me through college’. But that job has taken me places and taught me things that I don’t think  I would have gotten otherwise. And, of course, there’s my family. I have the best family on Earth! Without my family, this blog wouldn’t exist. Outside of my family, my heroes have shifted from Frank & Ollie to the likes of Ron Mattocks and Joe Schatz. These guys make being a Stay at Home Dad and blogger/writer look like feasible things that can become reality.

It is my hope and dream that I can nurture my children in to whatever they want to be. I tease my wife about my ability to get the kids to say that Batman is their favorite over Superman (she likes Superman better), but right now Calli would rather choose ‘Princess movies’, Kat is in to romantic manga and anime, and Tristin squeals when he sees his Spider-Man teether. I couldn’t be prouder of my independent thinkers!

As far as serious career paths my kids are considering? Kat wants to work with tigers. We just got an invitation for her to participate in the People to People Student Ambassador program. This is a program that has been around for over 50 years and is offering Kat the chance to go study in Australia. I have heard this is fairly expensive, but I will do everything in my power to make sure that she gets to go. If I have to create fundraisers, sell my soul on eBay, whatever, just so she can take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Currently, Calli is a Princess. Who could ask for more? The other day, we asked her to pick up her toys. She put her little balled-up fists on her sassy little hips, looked up at us and said, ‘I can’t do that! I’m a Princess!’ We’re working on that…

Tristin is succeeding in holding up his large cranium. At 5 months old, he’s wearing a 12-18 month hat. Beyond that, today he managed to get my water bottle away from me and take a few sips. I’ve never laughed so hard at his big eyes as the cold water ran down his throat! He immediately went for more.

Whatever the kids wind up doing, I will support whole-heartedly and be the proudest father in the Universe, on this they, and you, have my word.

The Ultimate Payoff: