So, What The Eff CAN I Feed My Kids?

Alright. Here it is. As promised, if not a little late: the food rant.

As a father of 3, I find myself increasingly interested in foods that are good for you. Especially when little bodies and minds are concerned, you want to find the best food. However, this gets increasingly frustrating when you look at some of the current medical findings. Let’s look at some favorite kids’ foods, shall we?

Hot Dogs, also bacon.

In fact, any processed meats have been found to cause colorectal cancer, which is the third most prevalent cancer there is. I love bacon. I love hot dogs. Sausage is very tasty. So, my kids have inherited my taste in yummy processed meat foods. Heck, I ate a deli sandwich just before starting to type this. Deli meats cause cancer too, I hope this sandwich doesn’t do me in. So what CAN I eat, and what the eff do I give my kids?

One answer I’ve found is more fruits and vegetables. My kids absolutely love cantaloupe. I could cut a whole cantaloupe up for breakfast and it would be devoured with a quickness. No sausage on my table would be necessary.


Oh, no. So there is this listeria outbreak that started in August, but since it takes two months for symptoms to emerge, the source of the infection was consumed probably in June. The offender? Cantaloupe. So much for my breakfast idea…

So I’m back to choosing cereal for a breakfast staple. Cool. Here are some tips that famous doctor, Dr. Sears recommends for choosing healthy cereal. But wait, didn’t I read something about grains somewhere…


Grains are actually indigestible, and can essentially punch holes in your intestines. For a good fun read on the subject, check out the article ‘How To Keep Feces Out Of Your Bloodstream‘ from Tim Ferris (The 4 Hour Body) and Robb Wolf (The Paleo Solution). I also recommend both of their books.

Oh well, at least after whatever ‘lesser evil’ that I choose to poison feed my kids, there is always something healthy to wash it down with…

Apple Juice

Quick show of hands, who does NOT have this American staple in their fridge right now? Hmm. Not too many hands are flying in to the air. That’s because it’s what we drank when we were kids. It’s what our parents drank. And dang it, apple juice is very tasty!

So another famous doctor, Dr. Mehmet Oz, had to go on national television and tell us that what we’re really drinking is arsenic. ARSENIC! Now this one has met with quite a bit of controversy, but one thing’s for sure: the idea of an acceptable amount of insects in my apple juice was one thing. That might add a bit of bonus protein. But Arsenic?

So, what the eff CAN I feed my kids?

Can anyone answer that question? Comments are open. Please, someone out there in Cyberland offer me hope!

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