Howefitz Blog

This FatherHood Friday, I want to start off kind of heavy and then lighten the load. Bear with me, but I have to say something.

In Christopher Moore‘s hilarious book, ‘A Dirty Job‘, his main character is a ‘beta male’. Moore describes a beta male as the guy that wasn’t all that popular in high school that, when something does go his way, he feels like it will be snatched away at any moment. The beta male’s imagination is constantly shifting to the worst case scenario.

I’m pretty sure that I am a beta male, and I have a pretty active imagination.

That’s why, on Wednesday, when I posted the ‘Super Dad and His Amazing Family’ edition of Wordless Wednesday, I took it pretty hard when Weasel Momma called me to the mat about a couple of pictures of my five week old son sleeping. In one, he is sleeping next to his three year old sister, in another, he is on his side, nestled in a blanket. Both pictures are abso-friggin-lutely adorable.

I think Weasel Momma agreed, but she utilized the comments on my blog and twitter to tell me of the dangers of allowing a baby to sleep on an adult bed with other kids. She reminded me that the best place for a baby to sleep is in a crib without bumpers or blankets or soft toys.

Of course, I knew that. I read the magazines at the doctor’s office. I do searches on WebMD. I almost fired back ‘He’s in the crib MOST of the time! Do you think I’m stupid?’ I wanted to ask what business it was of hers. But then I stopped and thought. I’m the one that puts my life out on my blog for the world to see. So far I’ve been fortunate enough to find kindred spirits that give me lots of encouragement and kind words.

Weasel Momma is one of those kind folks. The reason she cares, the reason she stuck her nose in at all, is that she is a SIDS mom. At this realization, my view began to shift. What would I do in that situation? I could only imagine. And as I mentioned before, my imagination gets pretty vivid…

Weasel Momma, I commend you. It takes courage to put these experiences out there. It takes courage to stand up and say something when you see that something’s not right. I thank you for your advice and look forward to more in the future. I also would like to apologize for any trauma I may have caused, inadvertently drudging up those memories…

Tristin, I apologize to you for not making sure that you are 100% safe at all times. Your mom and I would go straight out of our heads if anything were to happen to you.

When my wife breast feeds, she often lays down with him, and if he drifts off to sleep, we leave him there, thinking that because it’s during the day, and we’re being attentive, that it should be okay. Because Calli loves her baby brother, sometimes she wants to snuggle him.

At night, we’ve been kind of putting up with the bassinet, looking at cribs half-heartedly, but not with much sense of urgency.

Yesterday, I ordered a crib. It does not have a drop-side, adding stability and no pinch points! I’m not kidding, this changed my life.

Hoo!

I promised I’d lighten things up, so here’s a couple more snippets:

It occured to me that I did a lot of complaining on this blog in the past. I bitch about my job, my living situation, … but it occured to me that I hardly ever give resolution! Which, of course, goes against what I wanted when I started this blog. I want people to think that I am the perfect father and provider. I want people to weep when they read this blog, because I am so much better than them!  ;)  Alas, I am a beta male, and I have problems just like every one else…

The job is getting better. I have this weekend off, and I start my three days on, three days off schedule on Monday. They promise no more extra days, no more extra long days. I am completely optimistic about this, it will be amazing!

I mentioned it on twitter, but never blogged about my new digs. We were living in a two bedroom apartment and panicked about trying to fit a family of five into it. The week before Tristin was born, we moved into a three bedroom two and a half bath duplex with it’s OWN WASHER AND DRYER and a two car garage. There’s a lot of storage and a fireplace, and it actually feels like someplace I can LIVE!

On the online life front, I’ve started a protected twitter account that I will have more control over. If you would like to add to the conversation and not sell me stuff, (i.e. if you’re from dad-blogs) follow me @JustinMHowe, and I’ll follow back. If you want to show me how amazing it is to shove advertising down people’s throats on twitter and facebook, I’m blocking your ass.

Thanks so much for listening, I’ll be a lot more jovial in the posts ahead!

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