Howefitz Blog

Countless Shampoos and Only Two Political Parties … Priorities?

Published by justin on March 3rd, 2009 in Featured, Living, Nonsense, lifestyle design.

I’ve mentioned before that my day job is as an assistant manager at Wal-Mart. One of the areas I am a manager over at the present time is HBA, or Health and Beauty Aids, or Personal Care, whatever we’re calling it these days!

Anyway, this area includes the shampoo aisle, which we reset last week. I had never really paid that much attention to it before, but there is a LOT of ‘flavors’ of shampoo out there! I started thinking about that. Is all that shampoo really necessary? Just for cheap giggles, here’s a run down of what I have found in the shampoo aisle:

There is a special shampoo for long hair! Really? Does long hair have a different chemical makeup than short hair? I had no idea.

Axe makes a shower scrub for men called ‘Snake Peel‘. Have you ever been walking in the woods and found a bit of shed snake skin? Did you then pick it up and rub it all over your body, knowing that it would wow the ladies? Me niether.

Herbal Essences has a ‘self-targeting’ shampoo. This one I’m all for. All I’d have to do is open the bottle and the shampoo would find my hair?! But then I pause, what sorcery is this? What maniacal technology has Herbal Essences employed? Nanotechnology in hair care products sounds like a step toward world domination. With a trembling hand, I place the bottle back on the shelf, being careful not to disturb the other bottles…

It makes me think of Lewis Black’s routine about Milk and Water (not for younger listeners!)

Really, I love a good variety, but is all of this really necessary?

Did you know Mountain Dew has different varieties now? There’s a Peep for every holiday, not just Easter? I saw Valentine candy corn this year. Valentine. Candy CORN!?

It’s not that I’m against capitalism or consumerism. I’m an American, after all. I enjoy loud music too, but I tend to turn the volume down every now and again.

On the ‘Daddy’ side of things, I tend to spoil my kids, but still try to instill some sense of, ‘Maybe you don’t need that!’ I swell with a sense of pride when my two year old understands that life will go on without that bobble that will just wind up on a shelf. But when she does recieve something, her eyes light up and that thing is her favorite thing for a good long while. AND she doesn’t forget to include her old toys in the fun as well.

Maybe the repetitive viewings of Toy Story has taught her something! ;)

My hope is that we as adult consumers, being faced with these tough economic tomes, will be forced to take a step back and think, ‘Maybe I don’t need that…’ Then maybe, just maybe, when things do turn around, the corporations will have spent some time thinking, ‘Maybe we don’t need to develop new flavors of fruit flavored energy drinks that slowly kill you. Maybe we won’t develop the animal excrement body wash. Maybe that’s not what the world needs right now.’

One can only hope.