An Idiot’s Guide To Australia

When I found out that Justin’s step-daughter Kat had earned the chance to visit Australia as part of People to People’s Student Ambassador Program, I thought wow, that’s pretty darn cool. What a wonderful opportunity for a young adult to experience the bigger world and export good will to such a culturally rich country like Australia. Almost makes me kind of jealous.

Australia is, like, one of my most favorite countries in the world, right next to Chad and Turkmenistan (they really don’t get enough credit). In fact, you might even consider me something of an expert on the topic given my Wikipedia-like knowledge of the place. So, for Kat and all you readers who might one day visit, here’s a few tidbits that might prove to be useful during your trip.

Australia lies in the Southern Hemisphere, which is why it’s winter occurs during our summer and vice versa. (It’s also why the toilets spin in the opposite direction after you flush.) It is the smallest of the continents in land mass, and boasts a population of an estimated 22 million people who reside primarily near the mainland state capitols.

The earliest inhabitants of Australia were known as Umpa Lumpas, and they can still be found living in the bush country of the island’s interior. Umpa Lumpas are typically small in stature and enjoy singing, dancing and playing instruments such as the didgeridoo. They are also well known for their mastery in making fine confectionaries. (Their Everlasting Gobstoppers are to die for.)

This wild area, commonly referred to as “the outback,” is also where Danish Baroness Karen von Blixen-Finecke established a coffee plantation in 1913 which later, using the pen name Isak Dineson, she wrote about in her now famous memoir entitled Out of Africa.

Schwarzenegger was quoted as saying, "Good on ya, extra prisonahs!" as he saluted the early Australian colonists.

Following its discovery by Sir Isaac Newton, Australia was colonized by convicts and felons who had been freed under California Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger’s early release initiative aimed at reducing prison over-crowding. Australia remained a colony until 1986 when humble, screen actor Paul Hogan using the alias, “Crocodile Dundee,” led a successful rebellion resulting in Australia’s birth as a Commonwealth. His rallying war cry, “That’s not a knife. This is a knife!” became the country’s official motto.

Crocodile Dundee ruled benevolently until 2001 when his popularity began to wane following an adventurous visit to Los Angeles. Eventually he handed the responsibility over to his charismatic nephew, Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter, who sadly was killed by a mentally unstable stingray with a strange obsession for Jodie Foster. Currently Australia is presided over by the Crocodile Hunter’s daughter, the much beloved Bindi Sue.

Let’s see, what else? Oh, the country’s national anthem is, “I Come From a Land Down Under” written by the patriotic group Men At Work who were inspired by the sight of the Australian flag still flying over the capitol, Sidney, after invading Californians tried to burn the city to the ground.

Economically, Australia is very solid. Their chief exports are shrimp, barbies and an odd-looking shoe known internationally as Crocs which were modeled after the bill of a duck-billed platypus.

Australia’s cultural influence has had a great impact on the world, especially here in the United States. Few realize, for example, that in 1989 an exchange student from Melbourne attending the University of Texas at Nacogdoches taught fellow classmates how to crush over-sized beer cans on their forehead which lead to a national craze in fraternities all across America.

We can also be thankful for Australia’s artistic contributions which includes a long list of unparalleled actors and actresses such as Errol Flynn, Hugh Jackman, Heath Ledger, Nicole Kidman, and Tina Turner whose breakout performance in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome has become legendary. Also worth noting is the interpretative dance troupe Thunder From Down Under, now one of Las Vegas’ top shows, and a must see for any family that gets the chance.

I could probably go on, but at this point, I think it would only be seen as bragging. Besides this is more than enough for Kat to use in impressing the great people of the Australian Commonwealth. I hope it serves her well. (*see note)

One more thing. In support of Kat’s trip, I’d like to donate a copy of my book Sugar Milk which is filled with even more fun facts about, not just Australia, but for Chad and Turkmenistan as well. At the end of this post, Justin will explain how you can win a copy of this very handy book by helping Kat with her needs for the trip. I’m thinking she will make a way better ambassador to Australia than I ever would. Your support will be greatly appreciated I’m sure. Thank you.

*Note: This post has been thoroughly denounced by the Australian Department of Tourism.

W O W! Thanks, Ron!

So. How can you get your very own autographed copy of Sugar Milk? How can you win the book that founder of The Good Men Project Tom Matlack said ‘captures the real American Man of 2010, and the American family, with honesty and humor not found in the stick figure portrayals so prevalent in popular culture.’? Keep reading and I’ll tell you!

• Donate to Kat’s trip. Yes, I am asking for money, but you decide the amount. $1, $5, $10, more. It’s all good. Each donation earns you an extra entry in to the contest. Simply use the Chip-In button on your right. If you have already donated, thank you very much, you’re already entered.
• Bonus Points (be sure to let me know in the comments after you complete each entry):
  • Share and share alike: Share the contest on twitter with a tweet that sounds something like ‘I just helped a smart kid get to Australia, and got a chance to win an autographed copy of Sugar Milk! You can too! http://su.pr/1MLwsW‘
  • Blog Australia: Write your own blog entry about Australia and why you support Kat’s ambassadorship. Post the link in the comments here.
  • Give us some sugar: Have you read and reviewed Sugar Milk? Post a link to your review here in the comments and let others know why they NEED to own this book!
  • Stumble and Digg! Stumble or Digg this post and comment here. If you followed the su.pr link, there’s already a like button at the top of your screen! Easy!

I’ll end this giveaway on Thursday, May 27. I’ll use random.org to choose the winner, and announce the winner here next Fatherhood Friday!

I’d like to thank you all for your help. A very special thanks goes to Ron Mattocks for the donation of the book, and the amazing guest post. You’re the best!

This post brought to you by Dad-Blogs' FatherHood Friday. Be sure to swing by for all the other great Dads and Moms who love to share their lives online!

Although the winner was chosen through the use of Random.org, I would like to repost his comment here:

This is a great way to keep it going! I love the pay it forward idea. I’ve waited all day to post about this because I wanted to give it some thought. The idea that I came up with was to have my 3 year old go to Walmart and look for gifts to place in the local giving tree at the hospital for a child in need of a christmas gift.

What a cool idea. This will not only pay it forward now, but it will help instill in the future generation a sense of giving and compassion!

Jason said that he will post the result of his daughter’s Pay It Forward, and I’ll be sure to pass the link on here as well. In the meantime, keep your eye on The Devoted Dad!

Way to go, Jason! Feel free to spend the money all in one place!  ;)

This post brought to you by Dad-Blogs' FatherHood Friday. Be sure to swing by for all the other great Dads and Moms who love to share their lives online!

I’m not going to lie. I started this blog to try to make money.

A year ago, I discovered guys like John Chow and Shoemoney. I saw sites like Problogger and thought, ‘Man, I could do that! Let me at it!’

A year ago this month I started the Howefitz blog, and I have not made one cent. In fact, I’ve lost a few. (I’m lookin at you, aweber!)

But the fact remains that my blogging intensity has increased during the course of the year, and I have no intentions of stopping, because this is fun!

If you go back to the beginnings of this blog (and I highly recommend that you do NOT) you will see that I had no direction. I was looking for ways to build readers and make CASH! I was reading all the pros tell me to build networks and find other bloggers and SEO and blahblahblah.

Who wouldn't want to blog moments like these?

My wife kept saying, ‘Well, it looks like the guys that are making money on the internet are blogging about how to make money on the internet.’

Right. And you should always write what you know. And I (obviously) do not know how to make money on the internet.

Then, as these things go, I discovered dad-o-matic, and then dad-blogs.

(Sound of needle being yanked off a record) Wait. Wait one minute. There are dads. Dads on the internet. Dads on the internet blogging about their families.

…

And…

…they were interesting!

These weren’t boring home movies of someone else’s vacation or their kids taking their first step, this was all about the emotions of having a family. This was about supporting each other and giving each other advice.

All kinds of dads: stay at home dads, gay dads, married dads, single dads, divorced dads…

All these dads were rising to the challenge of trying to put into words their thoughts and feelings about being a dad and all the challenges that come with it!

I sat back in my chair and exhaled. This was something I could talk about! You never run out of material from your family! There’s always somebody saying or doing something funny or heart warming! I love being a dad! I can do that!

So I haven’t made a dime. As you can see, the google ads are gone, there’s very little in the way of advertising here. I occasionally review a book or movie and try to hock it through my amazon associate account, but nobody ever buys.

What I’ve earned through this blog is more important than any monetary gain. It’s become a writing exercise. It’s become a way for me to put words and thoughts together, sometimes coherently, in a way to elicit an emotional response from others. But mostly, it’s made me a lot of friends.

Ron Mattocks, author of the blog Clark Kent’s Lunchbox and the upcoming book Sugar Milk said it best recently:

The thing about blogging that makes it so different from just writing is that it’s about community, and community requires interaction. … The blogging community has become very real to me, almost as real as calling up people that are physically in my area, and meeting them for lunch; in some cases I interact with blogging buddies more than my own extended family.

That community is what has made me not only blog my heart out whenever possible, (Mainly when everyone else is asleep, like right now…) but what has also inspired me to write the sporadic column ‘Kids Play On The Net‘ at Dad-Blogs, among other unpaid projects I have in mind.

Plus, I absolutely love having a venue where I can show that I have the Greatest Family On The Planet™.

So, I would like to thank you all for the continued support, and hope that you like hearing about my life as much as I enjoy living and sharing it!

Here (in no particular order) are some friends I’ve made through blogging and their blogs:

Eric Bolton of Juggling Eric and Marvel Off the Clock

PJ Mullen of Real Men Drive Minivans

Apok of Knee Deep In Kids

Mocha Dad

Ron Mattocks of Clark Kent’s Lunchbox

Ciara of Ciara’s Ramblings and Whatnot

Weasel Momma of World of Weasels

Dad Unmasked

Melisa with one S of Suburban Scrawl

Jason of The Devoted Dad

Kevin W. Grossman of Get Off The Ground

Surprised Mom

Bella Daddy

Mr. Man of Dear Mr. Man

Thanks a lot guys, I’m just reeling this list off the top of my head, if I missed you, hopefully you’re on my blogroll on the sidebar. If not, let me know!

***Sidenote***

Today is the last chance to enter my Paying Forward A Random Act Of Kindness Giveaway! For details, simply click the link!

Haley Joel Osment in the wonderful 'Pay it Forward' film, demonstrating how this whole thing works...

An amazing thing happened to me yesterday. Calli, Tristin, and I were hanging out while my wife had to go to the doctor for a post-pregnancy checkup.

We wound up going to WalMart and Calli was being absolutely amazing. I’ve never seen such a sweet, well-behaved little girl! So I decided I’d treat her to a $5-$6 toy. Nothing too extravagant, but something to thank her for being so good.

We’re in what I call the pink aisle. You know, the one with Barbie, Strawberry Shortcake, Littlest Pet Shop, My Little Pony, and anything else that comes in a pink box. She said, ‘Daddy I want that one!’ about everything $20 and up. I said a couple of times, ‘Calli, I’m not trying to spend a lot of money.’ It truly wasn’t about the money, it was more about getting her not to want a $20 toy every time we step into a WalMart.

Another customer must have heard me, because she walked by and said, ‘Here,’ slipping something between the cart handle and my hand, ‘maybe this’ll help Daddy out.’

Not even looking, I tried to hand it back, ‘I really don’t need your money!’ I said, both astonished and embarrassed.

‘No.’ she said, backing away. ‘Buy her something.’ and she vanished faster than homemade rolls on Thanksgiving.

I looked down at my hand and got dizzy.

There was a twenty dollar bill staring up at me from my palm.

She had a kid in her cart, too. Not to pass judgment, but she didn’t look any more well off than me. (Though looks can be very deceiving in ski country.)

In this economy, I felt horrible excepting some kind of handout from a complete stranger.

But Calli and I picked out two My Little Ponies, and spent the $20 well.

So here’s what I want to do: Since I can’t pay that nice lady back, I would like to pay this random act of kindness forward.

I’m going to give a $20 WalMart gift card away here on my blog.

What You Have To Do:

Basic blog giveaway stuff, you get one entry per item below:

1. Tweet about the giveaway with a link back to this post.

2. Comment below how you would spend the $20.

3. Include in your comment how you would then pay this good deed forward. (Hint: This does not have to be monetary in nature, get more creative than I did!)

Earn 5 entries if you blog about Random Acts of Kindness or Paying it Forward, and include a link back to this blog. Be sure to comment here to let me know about your post!

I will use random.org to determine the winner. The deadline to enter will be Friday, November 13 (lucky, huh?) at midnight.

If you include your twitter handle in your entries I will

a) follow you for life, and

b) notify you by email and twitter DM if you win! (Another pay it forward, since I recently won a giveaway from Coupon Dad, and missed the email. He DM’ed me to let me know so I wouldn’t miss out on my prize! Thanks again, Coupon Dad!)

Incidentally, the WalMart gift card can come in two forms:

1) The eGift Card Instant gratification! You’ll receive the card through your email in 24-48 hours of winning. This card can be used at walmart.com only. If you choose ‘site to store’ as your shipping option, none of your gift card’s balance will go to shipping! You’ll simply pick up your merchandise at your local store when it arrives.

2) Snail Mail This will take a little longer to receive your winnings, but you’ll be able to use the card at any WalMart store.

For the FTC’s consideration: This giveaway is in no way endorsed or supported by WalMart. I simply chose a WalMart gift card because that is where the above related random act of kindness took place. The money is my own hard-earned cash that I am using to help spread a little holiday cheer…

So here’s the deal: you need to head over to Go Graham Go RIGHT NOW and enter to win a $50 gift certificate from JoJo Designs.

JoJo Designs make some truly cool bedding for toddlers and kids. You can also find accessories and clothing there!

But you can see that all for yourself when you visit JoJo Designs and Go Graham Go!

Get going!

Mine! Mine!

Good Luck! Make sure to stop by JollyMom.com to see how you can get up to eight entries in this giveaway!