Pages from ‘I Die At Midnight’ depicting a man desperately in need of a good vomit…

Kyle Baker’s pacing and ‘acting’ on the cartoon page is flawless. That’s why, when I saw a book with a title that started with ‘How To Draw’ with Kyle Baker’s name on it, I knew I had to pick it up.

‘How To Draw Stupid’ reads more like an inspirational book than a straight-forward instructional art book. You won’t find any ‘draw a circle here, than a line there’ type of instruction here. What you will find are a few tips on character design, the layout on the page, and comedic timing. More importantly, you get a dose of Kyle Baker telling it like it is. He injects enough of his own personality and anecdotes from his own life as a cartoonist to make this an interesting read even to someone who has no interest in a career as an artist or cartoonist.

The most important lesson, repeated throughout the book, is that if you want to do something, just do it. In the introduction, I felt like Baker was talking directly at my younger self when he said:

‘When I was young, well-meaning adults would explain to me that it was impossible to make a living as a cartoonist. When I got older, well-meaning publishers, editors, and animation producers would tell me that it just wasn’t possible to publish or produce the kinds of cartoons that I like to make.’

When I was growing up, I wanted to be an animator. When I discovered comic books like Eric Larsen‘s Savage Dragon and Dave Sim‘s Cerebus , I loved seeing how creators could get away with anything and express themselves in a unique way through the comic book medium, without bowing down to some corporate hegemony. I wanted to do that!

However, I let outside influences effect me. I listened to the voices that said it couldn’t be done. I didn’t give 100% to achieving my goal. I didn’t dedicate the time I would need to to be able to hone my craft and earn a living making cartoons.

In the first chapter, Kyle Baker offers simple advice for becoming a cartoonist: ‘Do A Cartoon!’ He says not to worry about rejection or the cartoon being perfect because, ‘Dude, it’s a freaking cartoon!’

I will hope that my kids read this book , whether they want to make cartoons or not, for the simple message of letting everyone else think what they will, if you desire something it’s up to you to go for it!

At the end of the laugh-a-page book that follows, comes the advice that sums up the entire message:

And, finally, be the best!

…And you know why I’m the best? Because I say I’m the best. If you say you’re the best, that’s it. Try it.

…

Being the best isn’t an option these days; it’s a necessity. You don’t have to be competitive, but you must be the best.’

Sound advice from ‘The Greatest Cartoonist of All Time!’. I wish I’d gotten it sooner. But it’s never too late to start.

This is Justin M. Howe, author of the Howefitz Blog, greatest daddy blogger of all time, logging off!

‘Kinda… green…’ the doctor repeated, scribbling the selected hue of my baby’s feces into his chart…

So I’m holding my fully clothed, five day old son in front of me, his big three year old sister oohing and awing over him, when we hear the biggest phooot I’ve ever heard come out of a baby.

BBRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPHHHH!!!

I felt a puff of air on my arm. ‘HOLEE -’ I said, laughing histerically. ‘What was that, buddy?’ Tristin looked at me like, what?.

I looked down, and it looked like someone had mistaken me for a Ball Park Frank and sprinkled mustard on me.

I turned to my wife and said, ‘Call the doctor, now it’s yellow!’

Earlier, at the doctor’s office, he waited to pee until just after I took his diaper off to check it before getting him weighed.

Before we even left the hospital, he arched it all over his little clear bassinet.

I have more bodily function stories from his five days of life than I do from Calli’s three years.

I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

I’m sure I wasn’t this way.

I guess my wife has been right all along.

Boys. Are. Gross!

But, come on. Tell me this doesn't make it all worth it!

'Aaah, freak out!' Don't let this happen to you!

I took vacation this week and did a lot of house hunting. Right now we’re in a 2 bedroom apartment, which with the approaching birth of my son, will be waaaay too cramped for a family of five! So we’ve been looking for something a little bigger.

We found a townhome that I immediately fell in love with. Nice grassy back yard, another nice grassy area we can play in out front. (with no mowing by me, FTW!) It’s located on a quiet cul-de-sac, so no crazy drivers. 3 bed, 3 bath, fireplace, and a garage. Perfect. The two smaller rooms even already had a pink shade on the window in one and a blue shade in the other!

We looked at more, but that one was just calling my name. First freak out: I couldn’t remember which number in my phone was the owner’s cell! I left a message on his home phone, with no return call. Then I fumbled through my call history and called what I hoped was his cell. It was! Second freak out: it went to voicemail. I left a message, confident he’d return the call soon. A day passed. He finally called me back to tell me that his neighbor knows someone who really wants to buy it, so he’d rather go that route. They’re looking at it this weekend and he’s putting the renting thing on hold until then. Not so much a freak out as complete and total crushing blow.

One thing about me: I’m not the most assertive guy, nor do I plan for the worst-case scenario. I just knew that was the place for us, and now we have to keep searching. One thing about my wife: She IS assertive, and she doesn’t necessarily plan for worst-case, but she always has a back up. She already had a list of properties she’d seen in the paper, handed it to me and told me to suck it up and make some calls/send some emails. I just checked my emails, and someone sent me a reply at 10:30 at night! Hope springs eternal!

Add to the above destressing situation the new found fact that the doctors are talking like they are going to want to induce my wife a week early, moving the due date from around the 18th of August to around the 11th of August. Mind if I just lie down here for a minute?

Interlude: When I was in High School, I referred to myself as an ‘Amateur Animation Historian’. My love for animation and the history of the art survives to this day. So here’s an antecdote from early Disney history that helps me when times get tough:

The premiere for Fantasia was getting near, and the animators were still filming the ‘Ave Maria’ sequence. The scene required an extensive use of the multi-plane camera, which consists of a camera pointing down through multiple levels of painted glass that can be adjusted depending on the depth desired. So the filmmakers are filming the last sequence when the unthinkable happens.

Earthquake!

The animators could do nothing but watch helplessly as the plates of glass, and all their hard work, danced on the framework of the camera.

The earthquake stopped, they reset the shot, and got the film to the theater just in time for the premiere.

I think about that story and realize that things happen, but everything always works out. Maybe not the way you planned, maybe not without a few heart attacks along the way, but they always work out!

One other thing that helps: Check out Calli’s artwork! She turns three today, and look at the wonderful works she’s already created on a MagnaDoodle!

Here, Calli demonstrates her ability to achieve motion through speed lines. Dude! She did this all by herself! Major Daddy geek out!

Calli handed this one to my wife and said, ‘Look Mommy! A duck!’ Tell me this doesn’t look like something by Berkeley Breathed!

I better stop, my eyes are welling up! *sniff!* Thanks for reading, and Happy FatherHood Friday, everybody!

Check out the other cool guys and gals who participate in Fatherhood Friday at dad-blogs.com!