Howefitz Blog

The smell of stale gym socks infused my nostrils with testoterone and bravado. I had just finished swimming at the rec center and was changing into my dry clothes when a young muscular man struck up a conversation with me.

“Hey how’s it goin’?” he asked.

“Good, you?” I answered. All the fears of high school locker rooms flooded irrationally back. Does this guy want to kick my ass? Why is he talking to me?

“Great!” he answered. “So do you have kids in here?”

How the hell would he guess that? I looked down at the Elmo beach towel I had used that night. Oh. “Yes, I do.”

“How old?”

I thought of the flack I’ve taken on this blog by a couple readers for using the term ‘step-daughter’, so I simply said, “I have a two year old and a fifteen year old.”

“Wow!” he said, “You don’t look old enough to have a fifteen year old!”

“Well,” I said, ego slightly pumped now, old high school jock prejudices slowly fading, “my wife is five years older than me. The fifteen year old is my step-daughter. So that’s how I get out of that!”

He laughed, “Aw, man. I have a step-dad. He’s the best! We still hang out all the time. I hardly ever see my real dad. I think step-dads are great!”

“Well, right now it seems like she doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time!”

“Trust me, she will appreciate you. Just keep showing an interest in her life!”

“Alright, I think I can do that!” I said. “Speaking of my family, they’re probably just about done in their locker room, I’d better get them home.”

“Cool, man. Nice meeting you!”

“Yeah, you too.”

Check out the other cool guys and gals who participate in Fatherhood Friday at dad-blogs.com!

And I do take an interest in her life, and even though she’s fifteen and trying out this independence thing, we can still hold conversations about movies, comics (well, in her case manga), music, etc. So I think we’re on a good path.

I volunteered to teach a comic book class at the library recently, and she had to be a part of it. She wasn’t embarassed by my Green Lantern T-shirt that I wore. (Even though I tucked it in, which drives her crazy!) And afterward when I asked her what she thought, she said it was pretty cool. High praise, indeed!

Moral of the story, at least for me? No matter how old your kids get, you’ll still be learning. And even if you’re not biologically linked to your child, it’s still possible to be his/her dad!

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